New Sealand

I have redirected the Dailypedia. This is because from next Friday the concept of micromanagement will be irrelevant to me. I am leaving my job and moving my operation to foreign climes. To this end I have linked to an article about a foreign land not far from here. Although I call it such, it's not officially a foreign land, despite circulating its own stamps and coinage. It is a micronation. Unlike micromanagement, micronations are for the most part, just a bit of fun. Micronations are usually fantasy lands founded by eccentrics who claimed ownership to a piece of land by attempting to succeed it from its officially recognised owner. In the specific case I have linked to, the word "land" is even a little far-reaching. It's actually an off-shore oil rig. It is called Sealand. I would suggest that if you are interested in the whole concept of micronations, you read this Wikipedia entry before you start.

An open letter to fellow Surly bloggers

Dear all,

It has come to my attention recently that music journalism is rotten to the core. Although there are still a few sources of decent music journalism out there, most of it has been corrupted by the music industry itself, and indeed, it is often blogs that offer the best music journalism.

Why should we be forced to sweat and bleed as we quest for a source of music media guided only by the ears and brains of a collection of committed, intelligent people? I gave up searching for this when I was about 15. I was too clever by then. Even then it was blatantly apparent that certain acts were being forced onto the front pages of the big magazines by the industry. In my mind it appeared that the acts featured on the pages of these magazines only seemed to belong there if the trees felled to create them crushed their encampments.

Since this blog is the best place to announce fine plans you know you will never follow through on, I suggest that we start our own music magazine. However, since music journalism is rotten to the core, we should just parody this whole ridiculous branch of journalism. Guttermouth tabloids have already been parodied by The Weekly World News and The Onion is a hilarious celebration of local "broadsheet" media sources. Although Hot Press is already a good parody of music journalism, I think there is still room somewhere on the internet for our own slice of ridiculousness.

I have plans. Any comments?

Sincerely,
Little girl.

Journalism: A Cite for Sore Eyes

"Each month, hundreds of thousands of words about music are written by people wearing converse trainers. What does it mean? Why bother describing music? It's like, er… driving a bus about 1930's Russian folkdancing. Makes no sense. This ludicrousness of this practice has rarely been more apparent when it comes to music by Battles."
P J Lucas
18 May 2007
BBC Music website (accessed 12-03-2008)

Here is an artist's interpretation of how Mr. Lucas's article might have looked if properly written:

"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture - it's a really stupid thing to want to do."
Elvis Costello
"A Man out of Time Beats the Clock"
Pg 52 Musician magazine No. 60 (October 1983)

Each month, hundreds of thousands of words about music are written by people wearing converse trainers. What does it mean? Why bother describing music? This ludicrousness of this practice has rarely been more apparent when it comes to music by Battles.

Biannual Blog, Pedia

I changed the Dailypedia today for the first time in a number of months. For the next few months the Dailypedia will point here. It has taken me some time to figure out how I could accurately portray what I endure at work each day. Rather fortuitously, the Wikipedia community have already done it for me with this excellent entry on the phenomenon known as "micromanagement." Enjoy.

News channel of the year

Today, Sky News boast an exclusive interview with Pamela Wright, partner of convicted murderer Steve Wright. Mr Wright is the man responsible for the murders of 5 young women in late 2006. The interview is 12 minutes of manipulation exercised by journalistic veteran, Kay Burley. Burley expertly guides Ms Wright through each response, probing for emotional responses at every turn. At one stage Burley probes deeply and repeatedly into the Wrights' personal life in order to make Ms Wright feel exposed and vulnerable. Burley relents until Ms Wright is reduced to tears in an act of undignified tabloid journalism.

This interview was then followed by further discussion on the matter between anchorman Andrew Wilson and a man described by Wilson as an expert in criminology. The expert gives some insight into what may have caused Steve Wright to commit the murders before launching into a personal attack on Wright, who is said to be contemplating suicide. He describes how suicide is a selfish act, and that it is a fitting end to "serial killer Wright." He then goes on to suggest without any evidence that Wright is "probably responsible" for many unsolved murders in Suffolk as far back as the early 1990s.

In closing, Wilson thanks the expert and goes on to tell you that his book is available in all good bookshops from Monday.

Graphic Fart

This morning I didn't feel like doing much at work for the first hour or so. Usually I spend this time sketching doodles on the back of the calendar that acts as my mouse mat. However, this leaves a telling tapestry of dossful deceit. So why not do it on the computer itself? It's very easy to disguise, even if someone comes over to look at the screen. My artwork had already gotten out of hand by the time I put the finishing touches on my Ms Paint masterpiece, but then I unleashed Photoshop on its ass and lo and behold it's breaktime. Saft yeah!

Clumsiness is next to dogliness

There is only one excuse for clumsiness: a medically diagnosed motor neuron deficiency. If you think you are clumsy then you should get yourself checked out for a motor neuron deficiency that is recognised by the World Health Organisation. If you don't have one, then you must just be a ham-fisted spatially unaware twat.

Some people think that being clumsy is sort of cute. Clumsy people usually push this notion with their ditsy laughs and their "oops, I've done it again" demeanour. But alas, it's not at all endearing. It's quite annoying. Don't you get annoyed when a friend brings a clumsy dog into your house? Even if it's some kind of King Charles puppy cross-bred with love and flowers you're still going to get annoyed when the thing knocks over your lamp and drags your cables around your house. So why do people have to behave in such a fashion?

So, this is an open letter to all clumsy fools urging you to take note of where your body parts are at all times and what space they may occupy in the near future. Apply things like reason and logic to your movements. Familiarise yourself with concepts such as gravity and inertia and hopefully the world will be a better place.